School, Volleyball, Losing my Mind, and Californication

Ok so my blog today of random things...As most of you know I was one of the fortunate kids whose father worked at Bradley and my tuition roughly about $15,000, in 1995, a year, was completely paid for, and also that I was one of the idiots that didn't take full advantage of that program and become a life long student. I dropped out, well actually I dropped out cause I was flunking out after only a semester. I could go in to every conceiveable explanation and justification on why I din't finish my FREE education when I was young i.e. boys, lack of motivation, boys and oh yeah boys, but I won't. I was just young and dumb and thought that there was sooo much life to live outside of a classroom...now technically there is but for Christ's sake I could have lived my fair share in the almost 10 years I have had now if I would have graduated at 22. Hindsight in 20/20 that is for damn sure.

Now I got married young and had 4 babies in the course of 5 years and really honestly thought I would be one of those women who stayed at home forever, or at least to my kids were out of school and then I would take up some great hobby like photography or sky diving when I was in my 40s. But nope life never works the way you have it planned and when I was 3 months pregnant with my 4th child my now ex-husband called me from a payphone after he got off work and told me he was leaving, didn't want the responsibilities of a wife or kids, or a home anymore, and that he going to go stay at his mom's. Well to be honest it didn't exactly shock me, but holy crap I thought the whole he has to pay me 40% of his paycheck would have been some sort of reason to stay together! Nope. It honestly was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and even though he did it in a shitty way, I thank God everyday that he left. The marriage sucked but I know I would have never left, so it was a blessing that he did.

But that left me with the question.."What the hell am I going to do with my life?" Sure 40% of his paycheck was nice but not enough to live on forever, plus the kids are getting older and someday it wont be that much. So what was I going to do??? I had worked in daycares and preschools before, and had originally started Bradley with the idea that I would one day be a teacher 2nd grade to be exact , just like Susie and I had planned on the phone back in the 5th grade. But teaching didn't really appeal so much to me anymore now that I had kids, don't ask me why, but I didn't think I could do it well, well enough that they would be better for having me as a teacher.
So I decided with the insistence and support of my mom...who without her I would be working 2 or 3 jobs trying to just make ends meet like a lot of single moms I know and admire, I started school. And shit it is soo much harder at 30 than at 18. For one thing all the boys ( I call them boys but I guess technically they are young men) hold the door open for me and pick up my pencils when I drop them. My theory is that I remind them of their best friend's mom, or they want to be nice to me so maybe I would buy them beer after class. And the young women oh my God. When I was at Bradley the girls didn't look like the girls of today. I mean they are cute and tiny, eating ice chips for lunch must have really caught on in this generation, and they all have really straight freakin hair that they are constantly checking for dead ends. We had to do a persuasive speech in my Speech class last semester and one girl did hers on "Why everyone should buy designer clothes"?? Hmmm alright. The teacher who was my age, and I shared oh my God this is the future of our country looks back and forth while trying to stifle our laughter. The stupid jokes some of the professors make about "old" movies, I laugh at while everyone stares at them blankly, and I also had one boy-man say I was a MILF which apparently in today's lingo means "Mom I would like to fuck". Now I didn't know whether or not to be flattered or whip out my stretch marks and my saggy boobs after they aren't supported my my wonder bra..I decided against it and told him thanks but maybe in about 10 years : ) Another thing besides the very young looking students is my lack of brain power. I am proud to say I have all A's, but I have to work my ass off to get them, and I have no idea how these kids pass with all the partying that goes on. Sure I attend a gathering at a bar every once in awhile (what am I dead?) but then I know I cant drink too much or I wont be able to remember what classes I am in the next day. I am blaming some of my memory loss on the number of babies have come out of me, but if I am being honest with myself, its my damn old age. I am 31 and getting stupider by the year. I better hurry up and finish quick before I am forced to work at Walmart as the greeter ( not that there's anything wrong with that)

Last night me and my sweet boyfriend went to see his girls play their very first volleyball game. It was so much fun but a long night. Apparently their game got started late and then the teams are split into two age groups and then both teams actually played two games. Wheww we were there for almost 4 hours and we were both volleyballed out, but I was so glad I got to go, since most of their games are on Saturday or Thursday nights. We then went to McDonald's and heard an old man disturbingly talk about something being "Off the Chain" which I am hoping he meant like his bicycle chain was off the wheel and that is what they called the wheel back in 1930... the dude was old people. His girls are so much fun and I can tell they are getting used to me cause my headed moved back and forth more than at their volleyball game listening to all the stories they had to tell.

So we drop them off and we come back home and watch the new episode of Californication, which was a total let down. His ex left her new husband on her wedding day to be with Hank (David Duchvney) which who the hell could blame her, he gets a vasectomy, and accidentally goes down on another women then gets arrested. It was good but I liked when he was pining for her and couldn't have her. But hey that's just me.

And today I should be studying waiting for him to get off work. I will miss our lunch time romps when I actually do have to go to work or to school on a Wednesday, But I am truly enjoying life at the moment and things couldn't be going better ( knock on wood) ; )