Friday, October 31, 2008

The Aftermath


Nathan and the one and only picture I could get of him before he started to tear at his costume like I had just put fire on him.

Good vs. Evil : The Ultimate Show Down

An Angel, Batman and a Devil walk into a bar...

Well the tricks have been played, the treats have been passed out, the cavities have started to form, the little ones have finally crashed from their sugar high and I am slowly get more and more nauseous from the amount of Tootsie rolls I have eaten in the last 20 minutes. Good razor blades were found. I read somewhere that whole razors in the candy is an urban legend and the only two cases reported of kids dying from Halloween candy were involving the parents trying to poison their kids. The one guy put arsenic in his kid's Pixie stick. Sick bastard!

But with that being said I still was not convinced and proceeded to eat my weight in fake chocolaty goodness. I have to say the candy was kind of lame this year. My kids got a lot of banana laffy taffy and alot of vanilla tootsie rolls (which is just wrong). The one full size candy bar was handed out by our neighbor down the street...Score! but was quickly booed and that house shunned forever when it was discovered that it was a 3 Musketeer Bar.

The one thing that sucks about our neighborhood is the lack of sidewalks and the amount of dumb shits driving in our neighborhood at 60 miles an hour when their is literally a 100 kids trick or treating tonight. That along with the fact that my 22 month old refuses to be carried, ride in a stroller or wagon and would rather eat cat food then hold my hand ( I know because he has literally eaten cat food instead of having to hold my hand...gross) made for a very sweaty half jog half sprint to keep him from becoming road kill. I had to remind my girlfriend of what I thought was a universal Halloween rule:"Don't come a knockin unless there is a porch light on", and the other rule that needed repeat numerous times to my trigger happy kids, "Ring doorbell one time if no one answers move on"...

I must have been out with my kids around peak trick or treating time because by the time we got back home I think I maybe got about 10 more people. Which was good for them because I had about 4 tons of candy to give away, bad for me cause I still have about 3.5 tons of candy left. Damn polite kids nowadays only taking one piece of candy then nicely telling me to have a nice night and leaving. What the hell is wrong with kids these days?? By the end I am throwing handfuls at the kids, while getting lectured by a little lippy 5 year old that she doesn't want her teeth to rot out so did I have any organic candy? Move along little girl I don't have time for your nonsense.

Also my cat got out about 15 times tonight and went and howled it up with all his kitty posse and is now meowing at my only open window but refuses to come inside. But the excitement of the night was definitly when Nick's Batman cape was accidentally caught on fire by a very overzealous pumpkin carving family and their love of fire. Fortunately my son had just had a fire drill at preschool and knew to Stop, Drop and Roll. Which was completely unnecessary but extremely funny to watch.

Well another Halloween is over (thank god) and now its on to Christmas ads followed in mid-November by bikini sales. Ahhh gotta love America.