Pseduo Stepmom

My son this weekend told me that Grandpa W came and took Daddy's furniture away. Now he rarely is completely correct on his stories and seems to have a new one for the Preschool teacher daily...so I calmly asked if Daddy was getting new furniture? "Yes Suzanne is moving in with Daddy for a long long time" Awww isn't that special? Suzanne is my ex-husbands girlfriend for approximately 6 months. She had previously lived in Lincoln and was coming to his house on her weekends...actual weekends that normal people get not Tuesday-Thursday like D gets. So great I am happy for him, hopefully she has better furniture than D had after I moved our old stuff out. She has a daughter that was born about a week before Nathan. So now he has his own happy little family. Do I sound bitter? Trying not to, even though it is hard in the back of my head to remind myself that he didn't want his family anymore when he left me 2 years ago, and yes I realize that he loved his kids, and didn't want the marriage with me part anymore, but it still makes me sad that he will have Suzanne's daughter 7 days a week and his own daughters two days a week. And am desperately hoping that my girls don't feel left out especially since he works on weekends and so when he has his kids they are in school till 300 so they get to see him for about 4 hours a night. And his promises to look for another job that have weekends off is I am starting to think pointless since we all know if I offered to keep the kids full time he would have no problem with that. Now that isn't me being mean just honest. He really wasn't cut out to be a Dad. Not the kind who love to spend time with their kids and who would fight tooth and nail for them. I had to fight to actually get him to spend time with them at all. And now he has Suzanne and her daughter and yeah I guess that pisses me off a bit.

I haven't met her yet, I have no bad feelings toward her, I am glad she is there and maybe just maybe she will help dipshit not put my 2 year old clothes on the 4 year old when he goes off to school? She actually did their laundry last weekend. Usually Dale just sends their dirty clothes back home to me in a big garbage bag, so I take them and throw them in the laundry room, so last Thursday I get the bag, go to throw the clothes in the washing machine and they are all folded and smelling nice and clean...bitch. ; )



My kids love her...alot..and this is basically how all my conversations go with Sophie for about 3 days after her weekends with her Dad:



Sophie: Mom one day can I help you make those brownies for dessert?



Me: Of course you can, but Sophie all it is is breaking the squares off and putting them on the cookie sheet (Yeah I know all you perfect mothers out there laugh it up, but they are easy and mine wouldn't taste half as good if I made them from scratch)



Sophie: Suzanne makes homemade cookies with us when we are at Dad's.



Me: That's nice Sophie, is Suzanne still fat?? ( No I didn't say that, but I do like the fact that that was how Soph described her to me when they first started dating)



Here is another example:



Son: Mom Suzanne helped me make Army curtains for me room at Dad's. And we are going to paint my room army...Mom why is my room here still pink? (I am busy alright)



Sophie: Yeah and she helped Lily and me paint our room purple and make curtains out of rainbows and did I mention when she poops it smells like lilacs? (again I am exaggerating but geez)



Now Lily is my girl she would never tell me anything fun and exciting about Suzanne out of her loyalty to me, but I know she loves her just like the other ones do. And I do love that. I am glad they are little enough and resilient enough to go through all of this at a young age and they will be the better for having her in her life.



Do I love all the inadequacies that they keep pointing out of my mothering? No ...who would? I don't sit and read to them all night long, especially not Little House on the Prairie books that she gave my 7 year old to read. I put in a movie when I need an hour to study, I go to McDonald's more than I care to count cause I either don't have anything to cook or just don't want to cook. I am jealous of all the working Moms out there sometimes and long to put on pantyhose and high heels and get blisters walking in them all day. I shush and yell more than I should and sometimes wish I was child free again. But then when they see me and tell me they are glad they are home, or Nick tells me "Me missed you mom" it makes it all worth while. Hell I get a "break" every week, and most Mom's don't get that so I am blessed.I love my role as Mommy, and I am glad they will have Suzanne there, here's hoping she doesn't make me look like too much of a putz