So I had a scene right out of the Stephan Spielberg classic movie Duel today on my way home from Kewanee. Now those of you that haven't seen that great piece of cinamatic history, it stars Dennis Weaver as a guy driving home when he passes a semi truck and for whatever reason that pisses the guy in the truck off and it is as the tag line on the DVD case says :"Terror in the rear view mirror". It is filmed in 1971 and everyone looks like they have just stepped off the set of a bad porno, it is a lot of terrified looks on the man's face , and alot of shots of a menacing truck barreling toward the terrified man. The main reason I ever happened to watch the show was thanks to my Film 110 class and that teacher's need to show us movies all for whatever reason involving road rage and sex.
So I am not a big road rage fan. Even despite the fact that my now 5 year old's first words were "Go lady" and still to this day asks me why we have to wait so long at the stop lights... I digress...I think it is wrong, and unsafe, and dangerous and I never or should I say rarely ever lose my temper at another driver, and shit I live in Peoria for christ sake its not like we are in a major big city. It takes you 15 minutes to get anywhere you want to go so what is there to be pissed off about? I drove for 3 years in Seattle and while most of those people are very friendly and zen like, they still will sacrifice their first born for a spot in the carpool lane. Talk about scary...But this morning I was rushing back from E's house, I usually leave pretty early in the morning on Thursday's just cause my kids come back from their Dad's and I usually need to clean up a bit or do dishes. But today I slept in, and took my time getting ready and leaving his house. As I am merging on to 74 this semi-truck won't get over to the other lane...now that is probably my biggest driving pet peeve. Get the f**k over if someone is trying to merge especially if there is no one in the other lane. Which there wasn't. There were surprisingly few people on the road this morning so the asshole could have gotten over and I wouldn't have had to make a complete stop before getting onto the highway. So I honk my horn and scream a profanity at him and go to pass him, but instead of letting me pass he gets into the passing lane! Errr so by this time my sleeves are pushed up and its Game On. Now my attitude may have something to do with the fact that at that moment my iPod playlist had changed from my "driving music" with James Taylor, Sean Hayes, and Dave Matthews, to my "running" playlist with Eminmen, Ludicrous, and Black Eye Peas. (hey what can I say I like to run to gangsta rap) So my adrenaline was kicked in to high gear. It was me, a truck and the open road ( another tag line from Duel). So fueled by the lyrics to Back that Azz Up, I pass the truck and give him the finger ( I know not at all mature, but the rap music made me do it) He looks at me yells something I think looked like "Suck my you know what" and gave me the finger back. SO I am past him thinking we are done with our little exchange and back I go home again home again. Nope he is behind me going really fast,too fast, since I am going over 80 to pass him and he is literally on my ass. So I slow down thinking he will pass me, but nope he stays like that till the Brimfield exit when I am freaked out enough that I take that exit to see what he will do. Well he honked his horn, flashed his lights and sped off into the crazy trucker sunset. Wheww. I was actually a little bit concerned for my safety, and knew I wouldn't be able to pull of any cool minivan stunts like driving over the median or flipping the car around to go in the opposite direction, or the ultimate driving off some sort of ramp and go flying through the air till the War Drive exit is in view, while landing safely without a hair out of place(hell i watch alot of manly movies while I am in Kewanee) without injuring myself and my new van : ) Damn why couldn't I have gone to stunt driving school??