Sunday, October 12, 2008

Meeting the Mom and Communication

So if this blog just stops in the middle of my rambling its cause I had to go throw up....I am meeting his mother today, and his step-dad and their dog. But mainly I am meeting his mother. I talked to her on the phone on Wednesday, after he passed it to me while making plans for today. She seemed sweet and lovely and very nonthreatening or scary. But I am still scared. I do generally well with parents , I can come across as sweet and likable and reasonably intelligent. So they tend to like me and at the very least tolerate me for their son's sake. This time around in my dating evolution I am 31 and have 4 kids from a failed marriage. I do not work and I am in school...for the first time...not getting some sort of fancy degree just a degree would be nice, really just tryin to get through it one semester at a time. I guess I just don't want to embarrass the man. I want him to be proud ( for lack of a cheesier word) of me and not "oh yeah here's this girl I love and all the things that come along with her"...I know he is, but I was hoping to put off meeting the parents till I was a highly successful medical social worker who made gillions of dollars a year and my kids were all Ivy league graduates. I am by no way saying that I think his mom puts that much importance on all that but it would ease my mind a tad.

I'm lucky I get to stay at home with my little kids, even after the divorce, more than luck I am blessed to the tenth degree and the fact that I am able and motivated to go back to school in my 30s is pretty remarkable just on my part since I pretty much hate school. Its all soo different dating as an older "adult" I use the term loosely ... I have a life that has been lived and I have to share that with someone that didn't know me in my 20s like my ex-in laws.

My Nick's birthday is Tuesday he is going to be 4! And so my sweet Eric is bringing a cake today,and him and his girls got to buy boy gifts which I think Eric liked a little too much : ) So Nick knows that we are having a "pretend' birthday part for him since after he eats the cake he will still be 3 for 2 more days, which is important in his mind. They have been drilled on politeness and to say thank-you and please, to try and not break any family heirlooms and to get along with their brothers and sisters, and try and make me look like a good mom, who they at least listen to some of the time. I think it will go great. E has described his mom as nothing short of a saint, and someone who likes everyone and is very easy to get along with, so that calms me down, the fact that my kids and his kids will be there calms me down too, since kids are the ultimate conversation hopefully they will do majorly cute things today.

So in my last blog I talked about E and his old blog I ran across, well I talked to him about it last night in out nightly phone call and I am just gonna say that I love him. I love him for everything everyone else who was a man in my life wasn't and that he is. I get like that... I get a little freaked about the past at times and then I just kind of need to be talked down from the ledge and I'm okay. I don't know why it bothered me so much. I like to know about someones history about where they came from and who helped to shape them and make them who they are, I don't think I could seriously just be one of those women who don't ask at all about a guy's history or ask and then be perfectly okay with everything I hear. He listened to me, cause believe it or not if you think I ramble on here you should hear me in person...I was having a hard time trying to find words about why it was bothering me, but he helped and I love him for making it alright. I didn't need any kind of explanation really but he is a good talker and listened probably more than he wanted to... and he helped. So communication is the key it really is especially when I really want to make this work and move forward and so does he..thank God .

Well wish me luck on meeting his mom I am pretty positive I will write about it soon!

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