I mean that statement up there in the title...the examples are infinite, but I am gonna just narrow it down to the things I don't understand this weekend:
How the hell does David Spade get so many hot blonds? I mean I know they are kind of older washed up actress blonds but dude! I get the whole funny guy thing and we all know from my love of Chris Matthews that I am not the most conventional in my attraction to men...but David Spade? He kind of looks like a rat. And he's short, well I don't know if he is short or not but he looks short. Hmmm I don't get it.
People answering their cell phones in the public restrooms..I mean while they are on the toilet? I try to make it a general life law to not use public restrooms, but when the kid is doing the pee pee dance up and down Grand Prairie yesterday I had to give in and go. While I was laying the toilet paper protective cover all around the rim of the seat I heard someones cell phone ring. Oh I am sure she is not going to get it while she is in there doing her "bizness" . Oh but she did. "Hi Karen, no, no this is a great time to talk" Barf. I am sure that if Karen knew what her friend was doing at that exact moment she would have gladly called her back in five.
Now this goes back to high school days but why do men feel the need to shout out comments from their car when I am running? Seriously, I mean the whole "Hey baby", "What's your number?" "Can I run with you?" They don't make any sense? I am on Allen Road and Big Hollow waiting for the light to change and I got asked the above questions from two different cars. Does that ever work? I mean what if I said "Sure come on get out of your big truck with the cow testicles hanging from the back and come run with me. I am sure your Carhart overalls will be real wind resistant and you could totally make it like a half a block before the smell of deer urine overwhelmed me and I passed out." Great...
Why my son insists on eating cat litter? I don't get it. I mean I see the appeal of playing in the litter box since it resembles a very small sandbox, but eating it? What the hell does cat litter look like that would be tempting to eat? It looks like cat litter. Gag. I am hoping he grows out of it and it doesn't mean he has some sort of vitamin deficiency and I am ignoring it. But seriously cat litter? I am totally blaming the sperm donor's genes on that one.
And some random things as well:
Technology in general, insurance or cell phone plans, really how a satellite television works,why old people drive huge cars, math , spending more then my mortgage payment on shoes, why the McChicken is so damn good, men, Space travel, that movie Memento... the list goes on and on.
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13 comments:
Ha ha, great post! I have a very similar list. Yeah, David Spade...? I don't get it either.
I get David Spade. It's called money. If you have enough, you can buy whatever you want (I'm assuming this of course, because I have none). If I were to make a list of things I don't understand, I would have to quit my job and ignore my family and responsibilities. The only thing that would end the list would be when the power company shut me down because I was too busy creating the list to pay their bill.
Eww seriously there is not enough money in the world (well maybe in this state) to make me want to be with David Spade. I mean assuming he would want me, since I am far from blonde or famous, or and old and washed up actress...but eww.
I had that exact same reaction when I read that David Spade and Nicolette Sheridan were spotted making out in a restaurant.
First of all, why would you choose to make out in a restaurant? Is there something kinky that can be done with place settings? Do I need to get out more?
Second, David Spade does look kind of rodent like. He is fine in the Weekend Update skits and Tommy Boy, but creepy everywhere else.
Third, EWWWWWW!!!!
I would get honked at and hooted at a lot when jogging where we lived in Wisconsin, but that hasn't been an issue here. Not sure why the difference.
That cell phone thing is too creepy. I wonder if we should start calling out, "Hey, can you pass some TP?" when they're talking to correct the injustice.
IDNKM-large gay pop is the difference, LOL.
Jennifer
And I don't get any of those things, other than Math, either!
Katie--I think the same thing about making out at resturants, but everytime I am at Bar Louie I see someone usually an older guy with a younger hesitant girl going at it at the bar. Like at 6PM??
Heinous-I was soo talking really loud washing the kid's hands so maybe the other person would ask where she was at and she would be forced to rat herself out.
IDNKM--Yeah I have no idea why people dont hoot at you here?
Jennifer---You are too freakin funny And could you tutor me in Math??
Okay, a couple of things, first, how have I not been here before? I mean, you've got the word "blogtastic" in your title. That is grounds for awesomeness. And the Spade thing? Did you know his sister on law is Kate Spade? Yeah, all those chicks are using him for cool fashion accessories only.
OMG! At least that makes some sense. Steenky is so smart! I knew there had to be something about him. Though I think I would keep my dignity intact and just save up for that Kate Spade if need be!
As intelligent as I am I have no answers for you for any of your questions. I guess that shows just how intelligent I am - lol.
I am so with you! Cell phone talking in the bathroom is in my list of top 5 pet peeves, and my kid totally used to eat dog food as a baby. He could not wait until the dog food bowl hit the floor - he would crawl over there like a maniac to get piece of that Pedigree goodness. What the heck?
Laughed and loved it. First visit, and I think I'll be a regular...
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