I mean that statement up there in the title...the examples are infinite, but I am gonna just narrow it down to the things I don't understand this weekend:
How the hell does David Spade get so many hot blonds? I mean I know they are kind of older washed up actress blonds but dude! I get the whole funny guy thing and we all know from my love of Chris Matthews that I am not the most conventional in my attraction to men...but David Spade? He kind of looks like a rat. And he's short, well I don't know if he is short or not but he looks short. Hmmm I don't get it.
People answering their cell phones in the public restrooms..I mean while they are on the toilet? I try to make it a general life law to not use public restrooms, but when the kid is doing the pee pee dance up and down Grand Prairie yesterday I had to give in and go. While I was laying the toilet paper protective cover all around the rim of the seat I heard someones cell phone ring. Oh I am sure she is not going to get it while she is in there doing her "bizness" . Oh but she did. "Hi Karen, no, no this is a great time to talk" Barf. I am sure that if Karen knew what her friend was doing at that exact moment she would have gladly called her back in five.
Now this goes back to high school days but why do men feel the need to shout out comments from their car when I am running? Seriously, I mean the whole "Hey baby", "What's your number?" "Can I run with you?" They don't make any sense? I am on Allen Road and Big Hollow waiting for the light to change and I got asked the above questions from two different cars. Does that ever work? I mean what if I said "Sure come on get out of your big truck with the cow testicles hanging from the back and come run with me. I am sure your Carhart overalls will be real wind resistant and you could totally make it like a half a block before the smell of deer urine overwhelmed me and I passed out." Great...
Why my son insists on eating cat litter? I don't get it. I mean I see the appeal of playing in the litter box since it resembles a very small sandbox, but eating it? What the hell does cat litter look like that would be tempting to eat? It looks like cat litter. Gag. I am hoping he grows out of it and it doesn't mean he has some sort of vitamin deficiency and I am ignoring it. But seriously cat litter? I am totally blaming the sperm donor's genes on that one.
And some random things as well:
Technology in general, insurance or cell phone plans, really how a satellite television works,why old people drive huge cars, math , spending more then my mortgage payment on shoes, why the McChicken is so damn good, men, Space travel, that movie Memento... the list goes on and on.