Sunday, November 16, 2008

Why Butter Is Bad For Your Health...the not so obvious reason



I am feeling better and decide to go and run, I am as usual running behind Todd... admiring his ass. For someone that is a major prick half the time the man has a killer body. Probably from running 30 miles a day. Have I mentioned that I hate him? Anyway I am running away thinking about my usual things...the kids, Eric, school, and food. Usually its about food I'm not gonna lie. This is just a sampling of how my thought process about food works.... I am running on University past the post office and I see a yellow car and the yellow car makes me think of butter, and how much I love butter. I start to think about when I get home how I am gonna make me some cinnamon pop tarts and smother them with butter and after I smother them with butter I am goning to go lock myself in the bathroom so the vultures *ahem* I mean kids don't stalk me and eat half of my delicious poptarts. As I am calculating how many miles I would have to run to burn off all that buttery goodness....bam...I run into a telephone pole....Go ahead laugh, I think most of the seemingly hundreds of people on University this morning did. I think they even pointed and laughed, slowed down their car to laugh. Got out of their car and bent over and laughed at me with tears running down their faces. It was not a pretty sight. Yeah I tried to pull it off the whole "WTF? How did that pole get here" The great line from 40 Year Virgin ... "That fucker came out of nowhere" I tried them all but still they laughed. I think Todd was more annoyed than anything that he not only got stuck with a slow running partner he got stuck with a clumsy one. So as I am pulling my humiliated self off the pavement I notice I messed up my knees...great...well at least its not shorts season anymore. I am okay just a few scrapes to my knees and to my ego is all. So let this be a warning to everyone out there pay attention when your running...and thinking about butter.

13 comments:

Dave said...

I think the title of your post should be Why Running Is Bad For Your Health..the obvious reason. LOL Yet one more reason you will never see me running. Glad you're ok!

Sarah said...

Chicken!!!

DJ said...

Nice legs! With all your food posts I thought you would be around 300 pounds! ha!

Rixblix said...

Wow. Nice job there! I'm with Dave. I'll stay on the couch where it's nice and safe. :)

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Thanks for the nice legs comment...if you look close you can see a scar on my knee I got as a kid when I got my knee stuck in a recliner...Ouch...see I wasent running them and I got hurt...lol

i do not know me said...

Are those bacon band aids?

Obviously, this calls for a new public safety initiative: padded telephone poles!

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

IDKNM--LOL You know I love me some bacon...but sadly no I havent been able to find any food inspired band-aids..I think they are sunsets?? And I am soo right there in the fight for paded telephone poles...paded anything really would help me out!! : )

Captain Dumbass said...

Aside from Todd's ass, that whole car-yellow-butter-poptart sequence could have happened in my head.

Katie said...

Hilarious! That is something that would totally happen to me too. I'm glad that you're OK and laughing about it!

Ms. PH said...

That is something that would happen to me too . . . which is why I don't run. The faster I go, the harder things hurt when I run into them.

goodfather said...

Mmmm, butter and bacon band-aids.

I'm hungry.

Jennifer said...

I love butter and I love poptarts but the two together? Hmm... a new combination. I think I'd rather have bacon wrapped poptarts, though!
Jennifer

Lola Takes Pictures said...

eh, we are soul sistahs when it comes to clumsiness. i've fallen twice in the past year--both times while holding my camera with the most expensive lens attached. now i'm anticipating falling off my treadmill. oh yeah, i can see that one coming...