Why Butter Is Bad For Your Health...the not so obvious reason

I am feeling better and decide to go and run, I am as usual running behind Todd... admiring his ass. For someone that is a major prick half the time the man has a killer body. Probably from running 30 miles a day. Have I mentioned that I hate him? Anyway I am running away thinking about my usual things...the kids, Eric, school, and food. Usually its about food I'm not gonna lie. This is just a sampling of how my thought process about food works.... I am running on University past the post office and I see a yellow car and the yellow car makes me think of butter, and how much I love butter. I start to think about when I get home how I am gonna make me some cinnamon pop tarts and smother them with butter and after I smother them with butter I am goning to go lock myself in the bathroom so the vultures *ahem* I mean kids don't stalk me and eat half of my delicious poptarts. As I am calculating how many miles I would have to run to burn off all that buttery goodness....bam...I run into a telephone pole....Go ahead laugh, I think most of the seemingly hundreds of people on University this morning did. I think they even pointed and laughed, slowed down their car to laugh. Got out of their car and bent over and laughed at me with tears running down their faces. It was not a pretty sight. Yeah I tried to pull it off the whole "WTF? How did that pole get here" The great line from 40 Year Virgin ... "That fucker came out of nowhere" I tried them all but still they laughed. I think Todd was more annoyed than anything that he not only got stuck with a slow running partner he got stuck with a clumsy one. So as I am pulling my humiliated self off the pavement I notice I messed up my knees...great...well at least its not shorts season anymore. I am okay just a few scrapes to my knees and to my ego is all. So let this be a warning to everyone out there pay attention when your running...and thinking about butter.