Friday, January 23, 2009

What Day Is It Again?

I was thinking about doing some sort of quirky post dedicated to all things Thursday when I realized it was Friday. Shit! I hate when that happens. I guess its cool since Saturday is tomorrow and the kids are going to a sleepover at Grandpa's while we live it up in P-town (she says laughing hysterically) but also kind of scary. I think I may have talked too badly about the Mormons and they have sent their henchmen to erase days from my memory. I did see a huge Hummer drive by my house a couple of times last night. From now on I will whisper anything about the polygamists in Big Love and only to very special people who probably don't have any mind altering chemicals in their ears.

I think Random Thoughts Tuesday should be every damn day since I really have nothing to talk about but randomness.

My son is at this moment trying to get the fruit roll up stuck on his bottom teeth off and he is about 30 seconds from meltdown mode. Hold on while I go get my camera k?

Guess who's going to Seattle in May? Come on not Ricky Martin, who would say that? Me me me!! I am going! I found a deal, well actually my step mom found a deal on tickets and I just happened to be talking to my Dad who told me they were going to fly to Seattle for the weekend to visit my sister, for $150 round trip! Seriously too good a deal to pass up right? My sister lives in the city and my mom has a house in Granite Falls.

I call Eric up and see if he wants to fly there with me for a long weekend during the two weeks the sperm donor has the kids in May. He would love to go and he just had to see about getting the days off work. He calls me this morning tells me to book the trip, I go online $270. God damn my luck. But still pretty cheap and we're going to go anyway . I have never seen my Mom's house and would love to see Seattle with Eric instead of four screaming kids, even though I am sure that would be just as much fun traveling on an airplane with four kids under 7 and staying with my Mom for a week yeah almost just the same.

I decided that if Eric can tell people that he is 39 then I'm going to start telling people I am 5'11 and weigh 110 pounds. Same retarded and immature concept right? So you can call me Natasha from now on. Thanks.

Did anyone see Joe Biden's son? He is kind of hot. And his wife has killer freakin legs I wonder who her trainer is? You think this will put be on some sort of government watch list for commenting on the VP's wife and his son? Yeah probably not.

I don't want to scare any of you guys out there but quite possibly I may have had a curse put on me at Walmart this week in Kewanee. There was this man who kind of looked like Bob Marley but you know alive, hmm or maybe I saw Bob Marley's ghost? Anyway as I was looking for pesto sauce this man comes up to me and asks me how he can get the donuts out of the container? Huh? We are in the pasta aisle dude. So I told him first thing he is gonna want to do is go to the bakery. He stops turns around and says sometime in some sort of voodoo tongue and then turns me around and mumbles something about a camel's hair and salt.

I shit you not.

I turn around and ask him what he said and he says. "In these days its hard telling what I said."
To which I reply "For real?" The he told me he was hungry and went up in a puff of smoke. No not really he left saying something about how he can't find any good coffee in Kewanee.

So seriously I am thinking some sort of curse is over me and have been looking for some sort of sign in my tea leaves. Have been knocking on wood and making sure I have someone say "Bless You" every time I sneeze. Just to be on the safe side. Did you know that people started to say God bless you when other people would sneeze in case they died during the sneeze? So I am just covering all my basis. Crazy ass Walmart people.

Well I am off to go and do some cleaning. I just stepped in some peanut butter in my bathroom and that is usually a sign that I need to bust out the ole mop and bucket. I hope you all have a great weekend!!!


The Dental Maven said...

Gotta be careful of those Walmart curses. Last time I got one all my hair fell out. Lasted for weeks!

Vic said...

Well, Natasha,
Of course you met a Bob Marley witch doctor in Walmart!! (silly!) Everyone knows it's some kind of crazy people convention center... also, every time I go there someone drives over my feet with their cart.

I want to see the fruit rollup picture! :)

Braja said...

Huh. Friday, huh? I'm lost :)

Beth said...

Look! There's a squirrel!

Girl, you crack me up! All those thoughts jumping around like jumping beans. And you are too funny!

imaSwede said...

Love your blog.... Read it all the time. My heart goes out to you, because you will certainly be lied to again, even with the threat of no balls. What is it with some men? They can't help themselves! But what concerns me most, is how do we, as women, attract these arse holes? How many times do we have to watch The Secret!!!! AAAHH!!!

Captain Dumbass said...

Hey, if you're going to Seattle you can come up and visit me.

Debbie said...

Love, love, love the crazy Walmart guy story! And I am glad you have come to some resolution with Eric.

blueviolet said...

I'd be looking for a priest to have on standby in case there are any demons about to rear their heads.

Lola Takes Pictures said...

hmmm, you sure that was peanut butter??

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

LTP--- Eww Yes I am positive, my two year old has figured out how to unscrew the PB jar and he loves peanut butter. : )

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Random meanderings are the best.

Casey said...

I dig the randomness, no matter what day it happens to land on.

That Bob Marley guy in Walmart, WTF? So strange.

Sorry to hear about the Hummer driving by. That means you're royally f'ed since Albee is after you.

Glad you got things straightened out and I hope you don't have to chop off any balls. I'm not sure what instrument I'd use if it came to that.

I hope the fruit rollup incident turned out ok for everyone involved.

Seattle sounds lovely, I've never been. I'm jealous.

Comedy Goddess said...

It's all random thoughts all the time where I live. Very stream of consciousness. What they used to call "a happening". Walmart? Nuh uh.

Jenni said...

you have to watch out for mormon curses - i once bitched to my neighbor about the JWs that knocked on my door every week only to find out that she was a mormon. yeah, can you say foot in mouth?

Janie said...

Bless you bless you bless you bless you.

Was I supposed to do that?

Thanks for following my blog. Hope I don't pervert you! ;)


I have come here from Cherie/ Butterfly Dreamer's blog.
I have read some of your posts and would like to revisit.

If you like short stories and paintings, then a visit to my blogs would be an interesting one for you.

Naval Langa

Another Interesting Blog

Vodka Mom said...

wait, today is Friday? I thought it was MOnday?

By the way- isn't forgiveness what makes the world go round?? p.s.

None of us are perfect. Thank God.

LWM said...

thanks for following LWM. Keep up the good work.

Jennifer said...

I went to Walmart last night. I left feeling much better about myself. It's all a matter of comparison!

Katie said...

I thought they said 'God bless you' because they thought that you were possessed and trying to rid yourself of demons...or maybe I just made that up and decided it was true...stranger things have happened!
I want to go to Wal Mart with you. You seem to have all the fun!