Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Random Thoughts Tuesday



I have been thinking about changing the name of my blog to Random Thoughts All Damn Week, or That's What She Said, or Who Gives a Shit, or Be Quiet Mommy is Trying to Sleep, What do you Mean You're Hungry? Get Your Own Damn Breakfast. But I knew I would regret it. I'm just grouchy and tired.

Time for my post of all things random and all things taking up space in my brain so I need to hurry out and get all this stuff down on cyber-paper before I forget my name.Brought to you by Keely over at the Un Mom. Check out her site with the list of all us random souls.


This week has been hell. H. E. Double hockey sticks. Hell. Really the whole month of January has pretty much been chewing me up and spitting me back out, right in the eye, and it stings, and makes my eye water, and then my mascara runs...um yeah that's all I got. But come the fuck on February. I think I should make a bummer sticker that says that. January blows chunks of Cheerios, all over my favorite sweater.

Eric and I as previously mentioned on this blog have not had the best of weeks. Well he is fine I haven't been. I was the one that quite honestly couldn't get over his past. The things he has done and the things that he told me because I asked. The things that Cosmo tells you to never ask a man and the things it tells the man to never answer if a woman asks them those questions I did and he did, and I think, well I know it was influencing the way I saw him as he is now and that's not really fair to him or me . His past was messin with our future and I was having none of that so I went and kicked the pasts ass and I think I am alright now.

I went to a book club Sunday night. My first ever, with 5 other women I have never met before, but kind of in a stalkery way felt like I knew them all already, and I was sitting there listening to my 5 new best friends talk (too forward?) and I realized something, like a freakin light bulb went off in my overloaded brain....We are all really different people now than who we were 5 years ago, or 10 years ago, or shit even 6 months ago, some more than others but I shouldn't let that get in my way of being really happy and optimistic about our relationship. I think if I had
learned that bit of wisdom a week earlier I wouldn't have flipped out over the whole he's 40 not 39 thing. Well maybe not as much.So I am going to as the saying goesLet go and Let God or perhaps let go and let dead Bob Marley ghost...whatever same difference right?

I was listening to a radio station online the other day and it listed who was singing and the name of the song, and Paul McCartney's song Man On the Run was playing and the screen said it wasn't "Man On the Run" but "Band On the Run"??? Do you know how much that disapointed me that it wasent man on the run? I for years have pictured a young Paul (Abby Road days)running away from some jilted lover. Then he got lost and Sailor Sud and Jailor Judd were searching ever more for the man on the run (or whatever that lyric is) Now all I see are four fat old guys carrying guitar cases running down the interstate.

Word to the wise don't use mouthwash to clean off your windshield when you are driving behind a snow plow and it is throwing snow back onto your car windshield that won't melt and so you are now just driving on sonar, because the dumbasses at the oil change place put water instead of windshield washer fluid in your van and it freezes everytime it gets colder than 70 degrees outside. Cause the mouthwash doesn't evaporate all that well, but your car smells nice and minty, which is a good thing since you just found an old package of lunch meat in your back seat that must have fallen out of the grocery sack sometime last Spring and you were just starting to was wonder if there was a dead mouse or possum stuck under your floor boards. Gross.

My English class is sucking every imaginable moment of my free life slowly away from my grasp. It is overwhelming and I seriously just want to say screw college and go be a roller derby queen. (love that Jim Croce song...remember that one?) My daughter is having a roller skating unit in her gym class and being the awesome parent I sometimes make myself be I volunteered to help. I was the only parent to
come...pussies! It is so much fun and I so want to go rolling around the gym knockin out second graders...Is that wrong? I think my roller derby name will be Sarah Tripabitch.

Why the hell am I getting a yellow word in my posts? Can't you people tell by now I don't use spell check??



Last week I made a big poster board poster of my house rules. Because my seven year old is getting a mean case of the "two smart ass for her own good", ironically I am also coming down with a case of "Payback's a bitch", but I digress. So I made the rules and things are going pretty well with the no screaming, no whining, no biting , no throwing food (And those are just for me. Ha!! Thank you very much I'll be here all week) until I started getting a little bit confused on how to discipline each of the kids. Up until now it is all pretty across the board no matter the age but since the girls are getting older and completely know better I was at a impasse until I watched The Office and heard Dwight's song for following the rules, sung to the tune of Three Blind Mice:

Learn Your rules
Learn Your Rules
If You Don't
You'll Be Eaten In Your Sleep


I love The Office. And yes I realize that totally wasent at all funny unless you watch the show.

Alright that's about all I can stomach for now. I am off to go work on my paper that has to be about a significant moment in my life. If anyone has any significant events they would like me to pretend actually happened to me I am taking suggestions.

Happy Tuesday

22 comments:

Michelle said...

Sarah Tripabitch...I blew milk out of my nose...thank you for that.

Keely said...

Sarah Tripabitch, bwahhahhahhah!

Secret Server said...

Winter is really getting to me too. Welcome to book club; glad we could help solve one of you life crises. We're better at that kind of thing and talking about girl stuff, than talking about books. It's not "Man on the Run"? Are you sure? Thanks for the hint about the mouthwash. I have no wiper fluid right now either. I missed that Office, but I love that song.

Debbie said...

These may have been random thoughts but they were consistently great!

Ms. PH said...

I have always wanted to be a badass Roller Derby Bitch but, sadly, my left leg can't roller skate. I don't know what's wrong with it. My right leg does just fine, but my left leg just drags along.

Anyway, I hear what you are saying about the past affecting relationships. That was a big lesson for me to learn as well.

ImaSwede said...

OMG! OMG! Again, I love you! I pray you are saving all these entries for your book!!

Vic said...

I am so feeling you on so many levels at the moment , but especially on the classes front. I'll trade you an English class for statistics....(and the professor says "I don't care if you don't know how to do it. That's not my problem." I guess she's right.

You are a funny lady.

Jennifer said...

I've never beed badass enough to be a roller derby queen; I guess my name would be "JenniferOoopSooooooooooooooooo SorryIBumpedIntoYouMayIHelpYouUp?"

February is almost here, I think it HAS to be better than January.

Julie@Cool Mom Guide said...

Yes. Much like 'Excuse me while I kiss this guy' or 'Hold me closer Tony Danza', lyrics can be deceiving...

HumorSmith said...

Letting go of the past leaves your hands empty so they can hold the present.

Anonymous said...

there are totally some roller derby girls at this one place i sell crafts and they skate around and have clever names...love it..and if the song worked on dwight...welll

The Dental Maven said...

NO WAY! Are you Serious!!!? It's not man on the run???

blueviolet said...

Wow! Random doesn't even begin to cover it. What a ride you take us on every day!

Mama Dawg said...

"I think my roller derby name will be Sarah Tripabitch."

BEST NAME EVER!!!!!!!!

Katie said...

5 new best friends...not too early at all! But we use another term altogether. At the next book club you'll be issued your code name and password for that experience!

Becky said...

What's your book club reading? I'm constantly threatening to join a book club, so I'm interested in them. Plus, I like friends.

I just came over from Keely's, so hi! And thanks for the tip about the mouthwash. LOL

lisa24n7 said...

Sarah Tripabitch! oh shoot, I'm still roaring here! Too funny!

Shangrila said...

Okay, you don't know me, but is there a form somewhere that I can fill out to officially become your stalker?! Okay, that sounds WAY creepier then intended...I'd tell you all the things I like about your post, but I'm still laughing at the mental image of you sideswiping little roller-skaters, wearing an 80's glitter t-shirt that says, "Sarah Tripabitch"!

FoN said...

Good rules, I'm going to use those, k?

Diane said...

this was a great read. although, i do think you need a vacation. the first paragraph just killed me. hah

Braja said...

Don't forget Give A Fuck Friday. That would rock. :))

Casey said...

I seriously always thought it was "man on the run" until I just read that. Crap.

You're a brave woman to go to book club with a bunch of people you don't know, I won't even go with people I DO know, lest I make an ass of myself.

The Office is the best show ever. I love Jim, that goofy bastard.