Sunday, December 21, 2008

You Are My I Love You

No not you....geez get over yourself.

I try and be a semi good mother occasionally and was reading some bedtime stories to the girls tonight when I came across this book I had almost forgotten that I had. Unlike seemingly every other Mother on the planet, I didn't feel that overwhelming love or connection right after the birth of my first child, which when I was given this book. I read it put it down and hoped to God that I would someday stop feeling like I was just babysitting and form a bond with this little thing in my arms. I of course did and it hit me hard, like a steam roller and all my inner cheesy Momness came gushing out. Then with the birth of the second and third and fourth babies, loving them came like second nature, even though I may not have fallen in love with them immediately I knew because of my experience with Lily that it would eventually happen. Reading this book tonight was yet another reminder just how much they need me. How much our kids need us as parents to be their carriage, to be their bridge and to be there for them with open arms.

I don't know what's gotten into me recently...if its my youngest getting older, or my oldest still getting oldest(?), or me just getting older, or all the paint fumes coming from my laundry room, but I cried like a baby while I was reading this. Shocking and apparently providing much entertainment for my wee ones. It reminded me of what is important to me that simple things like reading a book or telling them a story or singing a song means more to them then the newest iPod or video game. Ughhh pass me the whole freakin box of tissues now. When the hell did I become such a softy?

Here are the lines from the book You Are My I Love You by Maryann Cusimano. Any of you who have children somehow somewhere at sometime in your life, know that as much as they drive the living daylights out of you (especially on snow days and Christmas vacations) they are everything you never thought you needed and more. If you are a parent, or have a parent, or know a parent, get this book, read it or reread it, have a good cry and hug your kids or someones kids tight (just make sure you have permission if they aren't your own.)

I am your parent;
You are my child.
I am your quiet place;
you are my wild.

I am your calm face;
you are my giggle.
I am your wait;
you are my wiggle.

I am your carriage;
you are my king.
I am your push;
you are my swing.

I am your audience;
you are my clown.
I am your London Bridge;
you are my falling down.

I am your carrot sticks;
you are my licorice.
I am your dandelion;
you are my first wish.

I am your water wings;
you are my deep.
I am your open arms;
you are my running leap.

I am your way home;
you are my new path.
I am your dry towel;
you are my wet bath.

I am your dinner;
you are my chocolate cake.
I am your bedtime;
you are my wide awake.

I am your finish line;
you are my race.
I am your praying hands;
you are my saying grace.

I am your favorite book;
you are my new lines.
I am your night-light;
you are my starshine.

I am your lullaby;
you are my peekaboo.
I am your good-night kiss;
you are my I love you.

Damn it just writing it gets me all teary. At the risk of sounding like a afterschool special, I think during the holiday season more than any other time of year, when we are rushing to buy the latest or newest, or fastest or coolest toys and gadgets, even when economically things have been tight on our pocketbooks, we still feel the need to give them things to prove to them how much we love them. Even if that's not our outward intent, it stills comes from the thought that if you have more, you are loved more. Which as an adult I still fall victim to that way of thinking. Simple children books like this make me realize that we are everything to them even if we have seemingly nothing in the eyes of the World. CEO of a fortune 500 company or laid off after 10 years at a job, we are King or Queen of the Planet to them.

Nothing seems to be slipping away faster than time right now and time that I so desperately want to stop for just an hour to savor in all their little kid naughtiness and lovableness. I want to be their I love you for as long as they will need me to be, and they of course will always be mine.


ImaSwede said...

Oh Wow! What a poem! My kids are all over 21 and that poem brought tears to my eyes. Glad you took the time to type it out! Yeah, it's a crazy world and your kids are lucky to have you as their safe place!

Katie said...

Sarah - I do not have that book, but I think I may have to go get it. I absolutely love it!
It is nice to know I am not the only parent that did not feel that instant connection right after birth. I was that way with my second and felt very guilty for a long time. But it didn't last long before I fell madly in love with him!

Mama Dawg said...

Crap. I didn't want to tear up today, but you gone and dun it.

Anndi said...

I am a puddle of goo.

I realized after my Chicklet was born that as much as I loved my mother... she loved me more.

Someday my daughter will understand that, but until then, I secretly love the "I love you more" arguments.


goodfather said...

Beautiful poem.

Our one-year-old and I didn't make a connection right away either, but now we're super-close.

Vodka Mom said...

Time is a thieving bastard. Take my word for it.

lovely post.........

The Stiletto Mom said...

Oh my...thanks for the good cry.

Which I totally did not mean to rhyme, but nothing goes faster than time.

Dang, did it again....

Lovely excerpt, must go get that book which I had never heard of.

Sammanthia said...

It looks like I'll be going to the library tomorrow.;)

Twenty Four At Heart said...

That is beautiful! Time does go by in a blink. Tonight I'm hosting a teen party. I really recommend NEVER DOING ANY SUCH THING.
Sigh .......

HeatherPride said...

Sarah!!! Now I'm all weepy too! Oh, how I love all of those lines. LOVE THEM! I'm going to have to get that book. It's perfect.

Happy holidays!!

Diane said...

I so love this.