Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A Slightly Inappropriate Crush



I know this post will probably ruin my "street cred"... well no I take that back the post where I professed my undying love for all things John Denver and then ended it with the phrase "that's how I roll" probably sucked a bunch of the remaining balance....but I digress.

Have you ever had a dream about someone that before that dream you had never thought twice about and then after the dream that person is suddenly in your thoughts constantly and you want to stick an ice pick in your eardrum to try and get that person out of your head because its not the typical crush? No, not even my typical Chris Matthews, Chris Farley crushes that I am known to have, it is someone who I listen to alot, someone who I may even admire a bit, someone who's fashion sense is something to be desired but still I should never judge a book by its cover right?

I listen to the Peoria City Council meetings every Tuesday they are played on WCBU. When I can't listen to them I record them and listen to them on my iPod on my Wednesday runs (told you I'm a geek) Well I am blaming those meetings those words of this person in my ears for this slightly embarrassing and inappropriate crush.

If you're not from Central Illinois you won't know who this guy is but for those of you that are you will probably question your choice to read my blog after this, but its the chance I have am willing to take to make this public. Hopefully writing this post will help rid his imagine from my brain so I can go back to dreaming about normal things like being in a naked circus and riding off into the sunset with Harrison Ford.

Its Gary Sandberg, a city council member, and a Peoria institution all in and of himself, known at least by me for his long winded explanations about why he opposes everything and anything and of course for his bow ties. Now the guy is pretty cool, and I think he enjoys what he does and going to bat for the "little people" of the Peoria area totally earned my respect for this guy. He dances to the beat of a different drummer. Has opinions and opinions and um opinions that other people may not always agree with but you have to have some sort of admiration for anyone who doesn't just follow the obvious path. But having naked Gary Sandberg dreams is like me having sex dreams about my ex father-in-law. I am sure the guy has some smooth moves, and is very popular with the ladies in his own right, but come on brain where did all my predictable heartthrobs go during my R.E.M. sleep? Where's the Brads and the Georges, hell even where's my sexy ass boyfriend? But please no more Garys. He's all I can think about and I blush everytime I see that picture . Its like having a bee buzzing in your ear and you keep swatting it away but the buzzing is still there. Help...

I do kind of have a thing for older guys with that salt and pepper hair thing going on. It always reminds me of my therapist who I had a very inappropriate affair with, once upon a time (a blog post for a different day). So that's probably where this dream/crush can from, since if I were to have a crush on any of the city council members it would probably me the Mayor, I mean I think most of us would agree that he is pretty easy on the eyes, or that Madam Clerk lady she sounds kind of hot. Just sayin...

I can't be the only one who has a tiny crush on Gary am I? Come on here's your chance ladies. Back me up. Tell me I am not crazy and don't need to seek professional help ASAP, I mean for this anyway.







26 comments:

Michelle said...

Are you high? ; )

Mama Dawg said...

I can't agree with your choice but I totally get inappropriate crushes (or strange ones). For pete's sake, I have a major lust crush on Eminem. For real.

Katie said...

Seriously? Gary Sandberg?!? Don't get me wrong, I think he's a good guy and all but...

Now you have to show up to a Blogger Bash. Mr. Sandberg has been known to show up a time or two. But we won't tell him about your naked dreams. That may be awkward.

Oh! And I totally agree with you about Mayor Ardis being a cutie!!

Jennifer said...

Is Jellybean on his shoulder while you're doin' the nasty. I heard he takes him everywhere...

Susie said...

Well I kind of get it. Hmmm well not really, but I still love you anyway!

DeeMarie said...

Wow. Is all I can say.

blissfully caffeinated said...

That's hilarious.

I have a little crush on Chris Matthews also.

Kim said...

Not high I can't believe that...are you drunk? Much more believable if you were drunk?! LOL

Cameron said...

Yes. Seek help immediately. STOP whatever you are doing and get help. I'm sure there are appropriate shock treatments that can cure this. Go now, what are you waiting for? Take steps, admit to your insanity and let the people in white coats pack you full of hallucinogens and anti-psychotic meds. Go...go now. You must hurry ;)

goodfather said...

TOP 10!!!!

And, I've got nuthin', sorry. Not even salt and pepper hair. OH! Except that I also love(d) Chris Farley. In a Manmance (cause I hate 'Bromance') kind of way.

Captain Dumbass said...

You MUST let me know when you post the therapist story. My therapist is HAWT, but no affair there. They should probably all be really ugly.

postsimian said...

LMAO.

Chase Ingersoll said...

I've known Gary for a long time. Here is what his girlfriends saw in him...and ex wives, not in any particular order:

1. very smart and articulate;
2. passionate and caring;
3. sense of humor;
4. stubborn and yet vulnerable;

And if I know Gary, he would want to add something like "...and a helluva f _ _ k..."

Gary Sandberg said...

I can touch my nose with my tongue, either neked or fully clothed. Give old men a break, if you are lucky, you too will livee past 60

Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

Holy Shit Batman! Hey Gary with all due respect my friend the dreams were pretty hot,just you know you're not my typical crush. That being said...I will now offically never be able to listen to you again at the City Council meetings without blushing! ; )

Katie said...

That is freakin' hilarious!

Gary Sandberg said...

Hot is great ........... and when you are blushing, touch your nose.

Secret Server said...

Grat, now, I too can't look at that picture without picturing him mostly naked. By mostly, I mean he is wearing only a bowtie, socks (with those sock holder upper things), and a bird on his shoulder.

Rixblix said...

How can we be sure it's the REAL Gary Sandburg commenting and not someone tryin' to make the moves on ya?

HeatherPride said...

I think you might be the only person with that crush. The picture made me want to stab myself in the eyeball with my letter opener, except that MIGHT freak out my co-workers. A little.

HOWEVER, I can totally get your crush on John Denver, because heck, ME TOOOOOOO!!! Annie's Song? Are you kidding me???? I wish that I would have that kind of love, just once in my life. *sigh*

My Flock Rocks! said...

I understand completely what you are experiencing...I once had an obsession with Mr Rogers and I didn't even live in his neighborhood! It was something about his sweater...I better stop now!

Oh, and I saw Gary this summer and took some really nice pics of him. If you want them, let me know!

Lola Takes Pictures said...

ROFLMAO!

I once had a dream that me and the red Power Ranger were getting it on. Yeh, don't ask.

The Stiletto Mom said...

Um, you lost me at the hair and the bow tie. Looks like he could be a fun guy, or a fungi (hee hee) but some grooming is just gonna hafta happen here friend!

To make you feel better...once I had a very inappropriate dream starring...get ready for it...Woody Allen. And it was GRAPHIC. I don't think he's hot, I don't even really like him all that much so where did THAT come from? Needless to say, I got up, grabbed an ice pick and promptly tried to gouge my eyes out. Blech. Icky. and Gross.

Vodka Mom said...

did you sneak into my vodka again? DID YOU???

Jenni said...

I have an inappropriate crush on John Podesta. He came to a few of my events, and I got introduced to him, and I practically died. And, you know what? He's skinny and short and has really poor posture in person and that made me like him EVEN MORE. I have problems.

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