So I tend to write when things are going shitty or when I feel the need to share my thoughts with the masses, but on this particular day it is a procrastination tool. My life is really good, now mind you I said that yesterday to a friend on the phone and not 2 hours later a pipe going into my water heater sprung a ginormous leak and pretty much rained in my basement for about 30 minutes before me and my knight and shining armor saved the day and found the shut off thingy....
Now as most of my close friends and even those who meet me in the check out line at Walmart know, that I am usually not the "go to" girl in a crisis I can sit back and calmly watch someone else have a meltdown...but when it comes to me and my life or any of the people that I love that are directly involved in my crisis then I pretty much just start to cry and want to just shut my eyes and will it better. Which yes I realize that that is very childlike The whole "I can't see you you can't see me" outlook on life. Not the most effective for sure. This happened Sunday night, the Sunday night before that my 3 year old lovingly slammed his brother's finger in a door and we had to make a trip to the ER just when the bedtime hour was right around the corner for the wee ones and the thought of having a night to myself to run, and read, and do whatever I wanted to was a possibility, bam ole red had to go and nearly get his finger torn off
I think when it comes to my kids in crisis I am pretty good at keeping it together, that's when then OCD kicks in and I think if I can control the situation, the doctors, the nurses, the whatever that nothing bad will ever happen to them...again not always the case, but it works for now, and I'm not on the bathroom floor calling Renee at 3 in the morning to come and look at my moles on my back So I'll do what works for the moment.
This morning I woke up, got the kiddies ready for school, cereal, brushin hairs, makin lists and washin faces, with bottled water, since if we all remember the water is shut off due to the flood of '07. I go downstairs to the garage and I had left the keys in my car to the "on" position, which apparently will make your battery die, so I call my knight again to tell me what to do :) then I call my second in command well actually the first, Renee, so she can also tell me what I should do and helps me get in contact with the guy to jump my car.
My water heater is under warranty, which apparently means there is an approval process, they just don't want to look around and see the leaking water heater, and all the water soaked ruined shit and replace it the same day...No my friends that would be too easy. So he replaces the pipe that is leaking and tells me he has to wait to hear back from the insurance people if they will actually replace it, so I tell the guy to Please please lie for me and tell them that it is an emergency and my livelyhood depends on water. The guy laughed and said "Well I'll see what I can do doll", which could mean "Sorry lady you're screwed", or "Sure lady I see and hear the four wild children running around and they look like they need a bath so I'll go to bat for you on this one". That is the one I'm sticking with .
No point really to this blog, just rambles. I was thinking Man last Sunday it was stitches in my babies hand, the Wednesday before that it was Sophie in the ER getting staples in her ole noggin, and now this Sunday it was the water heater. I really was all set to whine and play the poor me card. But honestly in perspective yeah last night sucked..it ruined some of my stuff and even more of my knight's things...and I felt really bad about that. It was shitty but there was no blood involved in last night :), nobody was hurt. My babies slept like well, like babies through the whole ordeal and we cleaned it up and threw some shit away that can't be replaced, but there was no blood, no death or sickness or dying involved .
Today it was the car, and the plumber, and then ole red's hand starting to bleed again, so another trip to the doctor. I just really wanna shut my eyes and not deal with it. So we go to Walmart and I think everybody must think the world is going to end with the ice tonight because EVERYBODY was there. I ran in to this girl that a friend of mine used to go to high school with. I knew her a little bit but not a whole lot. Her little girl just passed away from cancer about 2 weeks ago. Here I was telling her about my morning and my shitty water heater and her daughter had DIED 2 weeks ago...who the fuck cares if I have to be inconvenienced and get my car battery jumped ...I felt like an ass but she was very understanding and gracious. I literally don't know if I would be able to stand 2 weeks after such a tragedy, but here she was with her son x-mas shopping, and here I was with my 4 getting milk and wondering if I'm gonna have hot water when I get home. Silly me
We got home and I turned on cartoons and I went in here to finish up some homework and it was really quite in my house, now those of you with kids in your house, or even those of you that know my kids know that they are never quite...lol Even when they are sleeping someone is talking in their sleep, so I go out to the living room and they are all asleep on the couch in this little sibling ball of legs and arms and smelly heads. .. even Lily who never sleeps, Lily has Sophie on her lap and Nick is kind of scrunched in between their legs. Well now that's what's important, happy healthy (for the most part) sleeping peaceful kids A peaceful life.
My attitude now or what I am trying to implement in my life is to be peaceful, to chose my battles and to try and control my need to control..lol to control my need for things to be perfect and to try and control my anger at stupid shit...like water heaters and car batteries, and bloody fingers and to step out every once in awhile and just be ...just be thankful and happy that those babies are mine and my life is good, I have food and a roof over my head and people who I love in my life. This sounds a little bit like an after school special or a Thanksgiving prayer, but its still the season to be thankful, to be reflective on your life choices. This year has been one of tremendous change and tremendous losses and tremendous gains and I am ready for 2008 I am ready to start "new" with the new year and to slow down and see what's truly important