Well today is my 100th post. I am pretty much positive this means I have way to much time on my hands or I am greatly ignoring things I shouldn't be. At any rate I am very thankful that people are actually reading what I write and I love this forum to express the things I would just normally talk to myself about. This makes me look slightly less crazy.
I thought about not doing the 100 things about me list that people do but then I didn't really have any other ideas so here we go. There will be a test at the end so don't cheat and skip to the last one and comment on that one! I am on to you and your slacker ways!
1. I never wanted kids.
2. I can not imagine what I would be like them now 7 years later.
3.I shoplifted once (or twice) in high school, and I got caught by a friend's Mom who told she wouldn't report me if I promised her I would never do it again.
4. I was an active member in my church's youth group during my teenage years.
5. I haven't been to church in two years.
6. I miss having something to believe in.
7. I envy the people who can have faith without questions or doubt.
8. I used to have bleach blond hair.
9. I was voted Most Environmental in high school.
10. I got my hand caught in an escalator when I was little.
11. I have the scar on the side of my hand to prove it.
12. I used to have a very bad temper.
13. I smashed my ex's guitar.
14. In my defense he called me a bitch cause his dinner wasn't ready when he got home from work that night.
15. He is gone and my temper is alot better now...go figure.
16. I lived in Seattle for two years.
17. It was the worst two years of my life.
18. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
19. I am sad that I won't be able to have any more kids.
20. I want to be a foster parent one day.
21. I am deathly afraid of getting old.
22. I cried the day John Ritter and Tim Russert died.
23. The song Sympathy for the Devil by The Rolling Stones scares the shit out of me.
24. So does Edward Norton.
25. I love john Denver, The Clash and Bob Seager.
26. I had a huge crush on Bob from Sesame Street.
27. On Linda too , the actress that was deaf.
28. That's how I knew I wanted to learn sign language.
29. I am a perfectionist.
30. Which is really annoying.
31. I can lick my elbows.
32. I suck at Math.
33. My favorite fruits are blueberries, grapes, and strawberries.
34. My favorite vegetables are broccoli and mushrooms.
35. I love the heels of bread.
36. I won't dance in public.
37. I hate clubs.
38. I love dive bars.
39. The fist concert I went to was Raffi and I think he was staring at me.
40. I am so into fat, bald, biker, men.
41. I am madly in love with a tall preppy salesman.
42. I can't whistle.
43. I love to vacuum.
44. and mow the lawn.
45. I have been told I sound snotty when I talk.
46. I'm really not.
47. Most of the time.
48. In exactly one week I will turn 32 years old.
49. You'll probably find me under the covers with a bottle of Whiskey listening to Pasty Kline.
50. I hate chocolate.
44. I love summertime
45. and grill out
46. and beer
47 and sunsets.
48. My eyes are glossing over....damn this is alot of shit to think about...
49. I am a bit of a control freak.
50. I don't have a lot of patience.
51. I am fiercely loyal to the people I love.
52. I sat on the family bird when I was 7 and it killed her.
53. Don't laugh that was sad.
54. OK you can laugh a little bit.
55. I had a miscarriage and I lost a baby in the span of 2 years and I thought I would go insane with grief.
56. I almost did.
57. Running saved my life.
58. I tend to over analyze things.
59. I hate camping.
60. I think men with glasses are sexy.
61. I think men lots of muscles are gross.
62. I love Bob Dylan
63. and Neil Young.
64. If I watch the Wiggles one more time I think I might knock something over...hard
65. I think the Red Wiggle is kind of hot.
66. I am pretty sure the Purple Wiggle is pervert.
67. I love wikipedia.
68. and youtube.
69. I liked Van Halen with Sammy Hager better than with David Lee Roth (don't hate)
70. I can play the piano.
71. I love board games.
72. I never carry cash.
73. Everytime I buy a new shirt I buy socks that match.
74. I can't play poker.
75. I can almost always know when someone is lying.
76. I love Texas Rummy.
77. I hate Rum.
78. I once called a girl fat in 5th grade, she told the teacher and he threatened to wash my mouth out with soap.
79. Years later she was my teaching assistant .
80. The best one I have ever had.
81. I apologized for calling her fat.
82. She forgave me.
83. The worst thing I have ever done, was sleep with the Dad of a kid I was babysitting.
84. He called me and told me he was leaving his wife, and that he was in love with me.
85 I never went back to babysit.
86. I played basketball in grade school.
87. I wanted to joining the swim team in high school.
88. But I was too afraid to learn how to do the flip at the end of the lane.
89. Anyone still here????
90. Really?
91. I love the smell of cigarettes, beer and grease.
92. Preferably on a man.
93. I can drive a stick.
94. But I don't now cause I drive a mini van.
95. I still think I am too young to drive a van
96. or be a parent.
97. I love denial.
98. I hate roller coasters
99. but love water slides.
100. I love to finish things
Whew, I am glad that is over with.
Well I am raising my imaginary shot glass in a toast to all my bloggy friends, for reading, for emailing, for commenting, and for laughing at me as well as with me I am sure. . Thank you so much for reading and here's to one hundred more.
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
My Very Very Wordful Wednesday
Usually I post a picture on Wednesday, put a pithy little comment in the title area and go on about my day, but sadly my computer ate all my pictures last week. I'm not sure what happened it may or may not have been the porn that may or may not have been downloaded on it, but that's still up for debate. Or is it?? I am confusing myself. Anyway so all my pictures are backed up on disks somewhere but I can't find the disks at the moment so have decided to do an entirely different post. Really probably didn't have to explain that to everyone but I am hungover in a big way. (Yes I am slightly ashamed I am hungover on a Wednesday, don't judge)
So....I am a great believer in online dating. I should be its poster child, well not child since that is an entirely different sort of online dating, I should be its poster young but not to young woman. I loved it when I was single. It was like window shopping. Yes I realize that I may have just compared the men I went out with to shoes but they were almost as enjoyable. I loved being able to talk to someone either online or over the phone and then see what they were actually like in real life. I was really lucky and met some amazing smart, funny, good looking men online. Yes I did meet some that wanted to become a woman (but only the boob part, he still wanted to keep his penis) And some that claimed to run illegal counterfeit operations with the Chicago police department, but on the whole I got pretty good at weeding out the crazies and getting to the really good men.
Now I don't know how many of you who read this are single out there, but during my time as an Internet dater I compiled a list of a sort of "code" my girlfriends and I picked up on, on what the men would tell us and what it really meant. So consider this my public service announcement to you single ladies and men too out there who might be considering online dating. Again you're welcome.
The first one is what they say the second thing is usually what it means.
Intelligent ... College dropout.
Fun ... Annoying.
Spontaneous ... Never around much .
Affectionate ...Clings like Glad wrap.
Adventurous ... Is part of a para-military group.
Likes Sports ...Watches a 30 second bit on TV once a year.
Enjoys working out ...Compulsive liar and in denial
Hard Working ... No time for dates longer than 15 minutes.
Enjoys finer things in life ...with you and half the female population.
Very Romantic ... Thinks relationships are just like in the movies, and by movies I mean porn.
Divorced ... Four times and counting or just separated, or in some cases still married.
Easy going ...Control freak.
Enjoys family get togethers...Spazzed out and threw pizza at everyone at the last one. Driven...Drinks lattes by the gallon and talks way too fast. Or is on meth (he was sweet though).
Caring...donated $1 to some cult group 15 years ago
Environmentally conscious...Drives the "small" Hummer.
Emotionally Stable...As long as the meds keep working.
Doesn't want a serious relationship...Wants to sleep with you and still see whats out there...to sleep with.
Won't settle...Will be single at 90 and still placing personal ads (not there's anything wrong with that).
Happy...As long as the meds keep working.
Competitive...Nothing you say will ever be right...EVER.
Kind...Petted a rabbit at the pet store once in 1972.
Enjoys Outdoors...Lived in a tree for 2 years in protest of logging companies.
Frugal... Lives with parents.
Open minded...goes to swinger conventions.
Shy...Always worried that you are an undercover cop.
Doesn't like to get their picture taken ...They have no front teeth. (I never would have guessed from his picture either)
Self-Employed ... Unemployed. Or a drug dealer...usually a drug dealer.
Enjoys biking...They have 2 DUI's and legally cannot drive.
Doesn't drink... Their liver is failing.
Looks are not important...OH YES THEY ARE.
Non-judgemental ...Participates in weekend orgies at hotels.
Lives on the edge...One step away from prison time.
Honest...Only when they're found out.
Vegetarian...That eats chicken and fish.
Independent...Still takes laundry home and mom cleans the house.
Attractive...Only to themselves and mom.
Likes to Cook ... Has a really good recipe for crockpot pigeon. (This one's my favorite)
Likes to visit Chicago...To launder money for the mob.
Enjoys women who wear sexy underwear...He wants to become a womenand is hoping you are his size so he can borrow some.
Hope this has helped. Have a great Wednesday!!!
So....I am a great believer in online dating. I should be its poster child, well not child since that is an entirely different sort of online dating, I should be its poster young but not to young woman. I loved it when I was single. It was like window shopping. Yes I realize that I may have just compared the men I went out with to shoes but they were almost as enjoyable. I loved being able to talk to someone either online or over the phone and then see what they were actually like in real life. I was really lucky and met some amazing smart, funny, good looking men online. Yes I did meet some that wanted to become a woman (but only the boob part, he still wanted to keep his penis) And some that claimed to run illegal counterfeit operations with the Chicago police department, but on the whole I got pretty good at weeding out the crazies and getting to the really good men.
Now I don't know how many of you who read this are single out there, but during my time as an Internet dater I compiled a list of a sort of "code" my girlfriends and I picked up on, on what the men would tell us and what it really meant. So consider this my public service announcement to you single ladies and men too out there who might be considering online dating. Again you're welcome.
The first one is what they say the second thing is usually what it means.
Intelligent ... College dropout.
Fun ... Annoying.
Spontaneous ... Never around much .
Affectionate ...Clings like Glad wrap.
Adventurous ... Is part of a para-military group.
Likes Sports ...Watches a 30 second bit on TV once a year.
Enjoys working out ...Compulsive liar and in denial
Hard Working ... No time for dates longer than 15 minutes.
Enjoys finer things in life ...with you and half the female population.
Very Romantic ... Thinks relationships are just like in the movies, and by movies I mean porn.
Divorced ... Four times and counting or just separated, or in some cases still married.
Easy going ...Control freak.
Enjoys family get togethers...Spazzed out and threw pizza at everyone at the last one. Driven...Drinks lattes by the gallon and talks way too fast. Or is on meth (he was sweet though).
Caring...donated $1 to some cult group 15 years ago
Environmentally conscious...Drives the "small" Hummer.
Emotionally Stable...As long as the meds keep working.
Doesn't want a serious relationship...Wants to sleep with you and still see whats out there...to sleep with.
Won't settle...Will be single at 90 and still placing personal ads (not there's anything wrong with that).
Happy...As long as the meds keep working.
Competitive...Nothing you say will ever be right...EVER.
Kind...Petted a rabbit at the pet store once in 1972.
Enjoys Outdoors...Lived in a tree for 2 years in protest of logging companies.
Frugal... Lives with parents.
Open minded...goes to swinger conventions.
Shy...Always worried that you are an undercover cop.
Doesn't like to get their picture taken ...They have no front teeth. (I never would have guessed from his picture either)
Self-Employed ... Unemployed. Or a drug dealer...usually a drug dealer.
Enjoys biking...They have 2 DUI's and legally cannot drive.
Doesn't drink... Their liver is failing.
Looks are not important...OH YES THEY ARE.
Non-judgemental ...Participates in weekend orgies at hotels.
Lives on the edge...One step away from prison time.
Honest...Only when they're found out.
Vegetarian...That eats chicken and fish.
Independent...Still takes laundry home and mom cleans the house.
Attractive...Only to themselves and mom.
Likes to Cook ... Has a really good recipe for crockpot pigeon. (This one's my favorite)
Likes to visit Chicago...To launder money for the mob.
Enjoys women who wear sexy underwear...He wants to become a womenand is hoping you are his size so he can borrow some.
Hope this has helped. Have a great Wednesday!!!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
In My Life
I stole this list from Debbie over at Suberb Sanity. She cracks me up on a regular basis and I thought this was the perfect meme for a Sunday. (cause you know of the whole stealing thing)
On a side note I was thinking about going back to church, I think about it every Sunday morning...basically because of my Saturday night phone call from my mother reminding me how my kids should go...but have decided that I am just going to watch Big Love instead. Has anyone seen that show?? The third season starts tonight and E is a fan so he wants to watch it with me on Tuesday nights since Californication is over (our first show that we love) So he got me the first season and I am officially like Whitney with a crack pipe! I love that show! Okay Okay back to my point of this blog...
Really who doesn't feel like nothing got done once Sunday has rolled around? When all that was accomplished was alot of table fort games, Elmo tea parties and a couple of empty bottles of tequila...gotta love taco night.
(Elmo tea parties and tequila two totally separate things, so please no angry emails, Elmo likes Martinis sheesh)
As Debbie pointed out there is a meme going round the blog world of a list of 100 things that people can check off if they have accomplished that in their life. Well being how I have pretty much not been all that terribly exciting in my almost 32 years on this planet, my number of things accomplished was pretty low. So why make you feel sorry for me, or anymore sorry for me than you already do by posting my lack of amazing things not accomplished? So instead I will show you my inner felon by stealing this list of Debbie's and pretending its my own ingenious idea. How's that for a nice Sunday thought?
Here is her list of 32 things you may or may not have done in your lifetime, more for us common folk out there...I have put an x next to the ones I am actually admitting to being a part of,plus my own little explanation. Enjoy...
X. Started something you actually finished ---Even though this one is up for debate but I am going to count being pregnant with 4 kids and actually making it to that finish line (birth)
2.Stood at the bottom of a mountain and thought "wonder why people climb that?" --- Does standing at the bottom of the rock wall at Dick's Sporting Goods and making fun of the people up on the wall count?
3. Been booed off a karaoke stage --- I hate to admit it but I have only done karaoke once while I was young and extremely intoxicated. I have been a part of booing other people off of the stage though.
4.Visited Detroit --- Never even been to Michigan *gasp*
5.Given someone food poisoning --- Well since my cooking repertoire includes pouring cereal into a bowl and broiling things I don't think I have ever cooked anything that could indeed be poisoned. And as much as I would have liked to have filled my ex's body with arsenic like that awesome show Big Love...I didn't and now just hope that the current girlfriend is more malicious than me.
X.Walked to the top of a flight of 8 stairs--- Holy Shit. I think this list is even more pathetic than the list of really awesome things that I have never done either in my life. But I do think I have probably at one time or another walked up eight flights of stairs. Do they have to be at the same time???
7.Grown your own hallucinogens --- Well not on purpose but I bet you if you smoked the stuff growing in the back of my refrigerator you might beg to differ
X.Seen a reproduction of famous artwork done on black velvet--- Well yes I have actually been to a black velvet museum. Ohhh and I love that song Black Velvet...and that little girl's smile....
9. Slept on a train or other public transportation and not known why --- I have been too scared to fall asleep on any sort of public transportation, but give me five minutes tops in a car and I am out like a light ( if I am the passenger that is)
X.Held a possum --- Oh my god yes I have and please don't ask me to relive that tale or should I say tail? Ha! I crack myself up!
11.Driven by an area where people were running a marathon --- I have watched one on television once, till I got too tired and went and took a nap.
12.Taught yourself your native language --- And by native language do you mean English Debbie? Cause I still don't know where to but a semi colon or really any kind of punctuation.
13.Told someone to quit complaining since they appear to have enough money to be satisfied --- Um everytime I watch celebrity intervention (God I love that show)
X.Wondered about the whole "Michelangelo's David" relationship--- Almost as much as I wonder about the Mona Lisa and if Dan Brown's novel the Da Vinci Code is really true.
X.Been bought a meal in a restaurant by a stranger (or the owner after you skipped out on the bill)--- Hehe this list makes me laugh. Well I have been bought dinner before by a stranger...unfortunately he wanted more than just a thank-you and was confused when I told him it would cost more than a dinner to get what he wanted.
X.Looked up Africa on a map --- Shit I have to mapquest my subdivision.
17. Ran along a street by moonlight with nice gentlemen in blue escorting you --- Again if my men in blue you mean the police I am gonna have to go with a no. But my ex husband was kind of kinky and his work uniform was blue...
18.Had your mug shot taken --- No Thank God.
19. Ruined a business--- Well not single handily.
X.Eaten a whole box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting --- Are you kidding me?? I have two kids this year selling cookies! I love me some Thin Mints.... I'm sorry thighs
X.Threatened a Girl Scout if she tried to take back said cookies.--- Not exactly but I did have to lie to my Mother in law once and tell her that her cookies didn't come in yet because I "accidentally" ate them
X.Read a book --- This one I have actually done. I know all the classics by heart..."It's Not Easy Being Small," "Where the Wild Things Are, " "The Cat In the Hat". and most recently the great literary piece "My Truck Is Stuck"
X.Had your name in the newspaper in a section other than "police blotter"--- Well my divorce announcement was in there last year That was exciting.
24.Been on the wrong end of a jury --- No again amazing but thankfully I have only been to traffic court well and divorce court.
X.Walked all over town with old underwear hanging out the bottom of one pant leg --- Oh yeah and they weren't even my underwear....don't ask.
26.Forgotten to pick up one of your kids until someone called you to ask if you had been in a terrible accident --- No but I had this exact same dream the other night, that my son was stuck at pre-school and I for some reason made no effort to go and get him.
X.Eaten an entire container of ice cream - not the small one either - from the container with a spoon - in one sitting --- Oh yeah you know that Ben and Jerry's flavor Cherry's Garcia? That was my obsession one Summer.
X.Hidden the evidence of #27 under something really disgusting in the trash can--- Oh yeah I hid the cartons in the diaper pail. For no other reason except for my own shame and denial.
X.Ducked behind furniture to keep from answering the doorbell to some person collecting for something --- Um yeah I think we all have. Actually I pretended to be the maid one time, but it was only from the religious freaks not from a collection agency. I did hide from subpoena guy .
X.Hidden in your bedroom/bathroom/closet to eat something so the kids wouldn't know --- Are you kidding me? Every. God. Damn. Day.
X.Bought something and hidden the evidence from your spouse --- Well I'm not married anymore, but I used to tell my ex that my best friend "gave" me my new purse or the new sweater or the new shoes, or the new car...kidding on that last one...maybe
X.Interpreted that "7-second rule" to be any multiple of 7, and then served the saved item to guests.--- Um no! who would do such a thing? My house is the picture of cleanliness It really should be in Better Homes and Garden or Martha Stewart. Cause you know my friends really care if I drop their Cheetos on the floor before they devour them with their Chardonnay
Thanks Debbie for this hilarious take on the things we should probably really try and do in our lifetime.
On a side note I was thinking about going back to church, I think about it every Sunday morning...basically because of my Saturday night phone call from my mother reminding me how my kids should go...but have decided that I am just going to watch Big Love instead. Has anyone seen that show?? The third season starts tonight and E is a fan so he wants to watch it with me on Tuesday nights since Californication is over (our first show that we love) So he got me the first season and I am officially like Whitney with a crack pipe! I love that show! Okay Okay back to my point of this blog...
Really who doesn't feel like nothing got done once Sunday has rolled around? When all that was accomplished was alot of table fort games, Elmo tea parties and a couple of empty bottles of tequila...gotta love taco night.
(Elmo tea parties and tequila two totally separate things, so please no angry emails, Elmo likes Martinis sheesh)
As Debbie pointed out there is a meme going round the blog world of a list of 100 things that people can check off if they have accomplished that in their life. Well being how I have pretty much not been all that terribly exciting in my almost 32 years on this planet, my number of things accomplished was pretty low. So why make you feel sorry for me, or anymore sorry for me than you already do by posting my lack of amazing things not accomplished? So instead I will show you my inner felon by stealing this list of Debbie's and pretending its my own ingenious idea. How's that for a nice Sunday thought?
Here is her list of 32 things you may or may not have done in your lifetime, more for us common folk out there...I have put an x next to the ones I am actually admitting to being a part of,plus my own little explanation. Enjoy...
X. Started something you actually finished ---Even though this one is up for debate but I am going to count being pregnant with 4 kids and actually making it to that finish line (birth)
2.Stood at the bottom of a mountain and thought "wonder why people climb that?" --- Does standing at the bottom of the rock wall at Dick's Sporting Goods and making fun of the people up on the wall count?
3. Been booed off a karaoke stage --- I hate to admit it but I have only done karaoke once while I was young and extremely intoxicated. I have been a part of booing other people off of the stage though.
4.Visited Detroit --- Never even been to Michigan *gasp*
5.Given someone food poisoning --- Well since my cooking repertoire includes pouring cereal into a bowl and broiling things I don't think I have ever cooked anything that could indeed be poisoned. And as much as I would have liked to have filled my ex's body with arsenic like that awesome show Big Love...I didn't and now just hope that the current girlfriend is more malicious than me.
X.Walked to the top of a flight of 8 stairs--- Holy Shit. I think this list is even more pathetic than the list of really awesome things that I have never done either in my life. But I do think I have probably at one time or another walked up eight flights of stairs. Do they have to be at the same time???
7.Grown your own hallucinogens --- Well not on purpose but I bet you if you smoked the stuff growing in the back of my refrigerator you might beg to differ
X.Seen a reproduction of famous artwork done on black velvet--- Well yes I have actually been to a black velvet museum. Ohhh and I love that song Black Velvet...and that little girl's smile....
9. Slept on a train or other public transportation and not known why --- I have been too scared to fall asleep on any sort of public transportation, but give me five minutes tops in a car and I am out like a light ( if I am the passenger that is)
X.Held a possum --- Oh my god yes I have and please don't ask me to relive that tale or should I say tail? Ha! I crack myself up!
11.Driven by an area where people were running a marathon --- I have watched one on television once, till I got too tired and went and took a nap.
12.Taught yourself your native language --- And by native language do you mean English Debbie? Cause I still don't know where to but a semi colon or really any kind of punctuation.
13.Told someone to quit complaining since they appear to have enough money to be satisfied --- Um everytime I watch celebrity intervention (God I love that show)
X.Wondered about the whole "Michelangelo's David" relationship--- Almost as much as I wonder about the Mona Lisa and if Dan Brown's novel the Da Vinci Code is really true.
X.Been bought a meal in a restaurant by a stranger (or the owner after you skipped out on the bill)--- Hehe this list makes me laugh. Well I have been bought dinner before by a stranger...unfortunately he wanted more than just a thank-you and was confused when I told him it would cost more than a dinner to get what he wanted.
X.Looked up Africa on a map --- Shit I have to mapquest my subdivision.
17. Ran along a street by moonlight with nice gentlemen in blue escorting you --- Again if my men in blue you mean the police I am gonna have to go with a no. But my ex husband was kind of kinky and his work uniform was blue...
18.Had your mug shot taken --- No Thank God.
19. Ruined a business--- Well not single handily.
X.Eaten a whole box of Girl Scout cookies in one sitting --- Are you kidding me?? I have two kids this year selling cookies! I love me some Thin Mints.... I'm sorry thighs
X.Threatened a Girl Scout if she tried to take back said cookies.--- Not exactly but I did have to lie to my Mother in law once and tell her that her cookies didn't come in yet because I "accidentally" ate them
X.Read a book --- This one I have actually done. I know all the classics by heart..."It's Not Easy Being Small," "Where the Wild Things Are, " "The Cat In the Hat". and most recently the great literary piece "My Truck Is Stuck"
X.Had your name in the newspaper in a section other than "police blotter"--- Well my divorce announcement was in there last year That was exciting.
24.Been on the wrong end of a jury --- No again amazing but thankfully I have only been to traffic court well and divorce court.
X.Walked all over town with old underwear hanging out the bottom of one pant leg --- Oh yeah and they weren't even my underwear....don't ask.
26.Forgotten to pick up one of your kids until someone called you to ask if you had been in a terrible accident --- No but I had this exact same dream the other night, that my son was stuck at pre-school and I for some reason made no effort to go and get him.
X.Eaten an entire container of ice cream - not the small one either - from the container with a spoon - in one sitting --- Oh yeah you know that Ben and Jerry's flavor Cherry's Garcia? That was my obsession one Summer.
X.Hidden the evidence of #27 under something really disgusting in the trash can--- Oh yeah I hid the cartons in the diaper pail. For no other reason except for my own shame and denial.
X.Ducked behind furniture to keep from answering the doorbell to some person collecting for something --- Um yeah I think we all have. Actually I pretended to be the maid one time, but it was only from the religious freaks not from a collection agency. I did hide from subpoena guy .
X.Hidden in your bedroom/bathroom/closet to eat something so the kids wouldn't know --- Are you kidding me? Every. God. Damn. Day.
X.Bought something and hidden the evidence from your spouse --- Well I'm not married anymore, but I used to tell my ex that my best friend "gave" me my new purse or the new sweater or the new shoes, or the new car...kidding on that last one...maybe
X.Interpreted that "7-second rule" to be any multiple of 7, and then served the saved item to guests.--- Um no! who would do such a thing? My house is the picture of cleanliness It really should be in Better Homes and Garden or Martha Stewart. Cause you know my friends really care if I drop their Cheetos on the floor before they devour them with their Chardonnay
Thanks Debbie for this hilarious take on the things we should probably really try and do in our lifetime.
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